Thanks to: https://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/03/29/1374145/-I-am-a-Christian-business-owner-in-Indiana?detail=emailclassic
Not
really but if I were, the sign on my door might read:
"Dear
Valued Patrons.
Due
to my sincerely held religious beliefs, and in light of the
[Religious Freedom Restoration Act] RFRA, recently signed by our Dear
Leader Pence, I will no longer be doing business with the following
persons; nor permitting them in my establishment:
1.
Divorcees. Matthew 19:9: “And I say to you: whoever divorces his
wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery.”
2.
….....Anyone who has ever read their horoscope or called a psychic
hotline. Leviticus 20:6: "As for the person who turns to mediums
and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My
face against that person and will cut him off from among his people."
3.
Anyone with a tattoo. Leviticus 19:28 "You shall
not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks
on yourselves: I am the Lord."
4.
Anyone born illegitimately. Also, anyone who, back to ten
generations, is descended from someone born illegitimately. If
you can not PROVE, using appropriate church sources, that ten
generations of your family were born in wedlock, I will have to err
on the side of caution and not serve you. Deuteronomy 23:2 "No
one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the LORD; none
of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the
assembly of the LORD."
5.
Anyone who makes a practice of praying aloud, or in public.
Matthew 6:5-6 "When you pray, you are not to be like
the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and
on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to
you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into
your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in
secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward
you."
6.
Any woman with braided hair or gold jewelry. Just to be
on the safe side, NO jewelry at all. 1 Timothy 2:9 "Likewise,
I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and
discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly
garments."
7.
Any man who has ever, by accident or not, had his genitals
damaged. (Current interpretation of this scripture is under
debate, so just to be safe, if you've had a vesectomy, or testicular
cancer, I can't serve you. I apologize for the inconvenience
but I am worried for my soul.) Deuteronomy 23:1 "A man
whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join
the assembly of the Lord."
8.
Please don't bring your kids in if they have a bowl cut.
Leviticus 19:27 reads "You shall not round off the
side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard."
For
those of you complaining that some of these scriptures are from the
Old Testament, and that Jesus came to redeem us from these laws, I
refer you to Matthew 5:17-19, where Our Savior himself says: "Do
not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not
come to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I say to you, until heaven
and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass
from the Law until all is accomplished. Whoever then annuls one of
the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same,
shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and
teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven"
Again, I am sorry for the inconvenience. It's nothing personal, "love the sinner but hate the sin," and all, but I simply can't serve anyone who would blatantly disregard God's sacred law in such a fashion.
Of
course this would never happen. People don't not serve gays
because they find it against God's Law. They do it, by and
large, because "the
gays are icky." Jesus had dinner with prostitutes and tax
collectors. Get over yourselves.
Posted by Paul Hunter
